Transitions in Marriage and Sexual Intimacy and Family Life

This is a blog for the last two weeks, I don't know if I can do that, but I'm doing it anyhow. One thing we talked about was breakups. Some of the reasons brought up in class were personal reasons and cost benefit analysis. Four things considered in the cost benefit analysis are connection/closeness, intimacy, increase in social status, and financial. I've only ever had one boyfriend, we didn't date for very long. He was a great guy and I enjoyed being with him, he made me feel wonderful and beautiful, but we didn't communicate very well and, going back to levels of communication, we seemed to struggle getting past superficial communication, so when I found out that I had got a job that required me to move I knew our relationship wouldn't work, so I broke up with him. It was an Exit.

I understand that breakups are usually a very painful thing and the reason is the more intimate you become with someone, the more vulnerable you are and the break up changes your interaction. I remember reading in an Ensign several years ago that the loss felt at a break up is similar to that felt when someone passes away.

This week we learned about sexual intimacy. We focused mainly on the four stages of the sexual response cycle. I don't have anything to say about that except to share a scripture. 2 Nephi 2:22-23: "And now, behold, if Adam had not transgressed he would not have fallen, but he would have remained in the garden of Eden. And all things which were created must have remained in the same state in which they were after they were created; and they must have remained forever, and had no end. And they would have had no children; wherefore they would have remained in a state of innocence, having no joy, for they knew no misery; doing no good, for they knew no sin."

We also talked about the churches stance on having children and contraceptives. I have read talks by general authorities that teach how important it is to have children. For myself, I would want to start right away because my dream and ambition in life is to raise a family. I feel that raising a righteous family is one of the best ways I can help be an influence for good in this world. The church's stance on contraceptives, to the best of my understanding is that it is a decision to be made between a husband, wife, and the Lord.

We also spent time discussing infidelity. One of the things I found really interesting is that if a man has an affair there is a greater likely hood of the marriage staying together than in the wife had an affair. I think that infidelity is a terrible and sad thing. I don't know if I would stay with someone that wasn't faithful to me. One of the things I learned from the reading and class is how important it is to set boundaries with your spouse so that there is a safe guard against either person becoming intimate with someone else. Things like never spending time alone with someone of the opposite gender should be a no-no, no matter what.